Is femininity lost?

Last night my husband and I went out to a restaurant that has a bar, pool tables, darts, karaoke, etc. It’s a really nice place that is run by a Japanese man who married an American woman. The food is amazing, and its a great place to hang out with locals. We were meeting up with some friends there so I “went all out” and wore my pretty lemon dress and put some makeup on for the first time in months.

This dress is so feminine, it fits all my curves beautifully, it is modest, no cleavage showing, but it is extremely flattering. It harkens to better days from the past and literally everyone picks up on this! I have worn the dress out three times and have gotten many compliments on it each time. Last night in the bar atmosphere, a couple other men gave me great compliments. They literally thanked me for my presence, and were very glad to see a woman, dressing as a woman. Not in jeans, or scantily clad, but standing out and looking that much more beautiful because I actually looked feminine.

I graciously accepted their compliments and agreed with them that women have lost this outward appearance of femininity. It is sad though how much I stood out in the crowd because our society has changed so much. And its not just men that compliment the dress! I’ve gotten so many compliments from other women as well. They look at me with mixed feelings. Maybe they think that they wouldn’t be able to pull something like that off if they are very overweight, or they just wouldn’t know how to act with a nice dress on. Many women I’ve talked to don’t feel comfortable in a dress anymore. They have become so used to wearing pants that they hardly even remember how to walk like a lady, or sit like one and feel nervous when they are wearing dresses and skirts. In spite of this though, I have sensed from many women that they long to dress in a more feminine way. We still long to become mothers and take care of a family. Regardless of all the conditioning and propaganda that the media and society have pushed on us, deep down in the majority of women, we still want to feel pretty, we want to have a strong man take care of us and be able to take care of our families.

So what does it mean to be feminine? To attributes and characteristics of a woman? Grace, beauty, patience, and of course love are major signs of femininity in my opinion. These are things all women should strive for. Some come more naturally than others, but that does not mean we should give up on aiming for certain characteristics. To answer the title of this blog post, “Is Femininity Lost,” I would say, “yes” but only in the way as it is wandering, women have lost their way, but it is not an attribute that is lost as in gone forever. We as women can reclaim this, it’s not necessarily going to be easy, but it is a transition back to something much more natural. We don’t need to fight against our natural instincts. The hard part is quieting the anger and angst that modern feminism has instilled into women today. This is something that I myself struggle with with my husband. Sometimes he angers me and I just want to blow up at him and I have to bite my tongue because I know that no good will come of it. I have to pause and do my best to think clearly to get my point across.

As much as I try to be logical I know that my natural tendency is to react emotionally. This is normal for women. I have spent most of my life pushing my emotions down and constructing barriers around myself to protect my emotions. Although we should show some self restraint, women should not have to do this to such extremes. We have been conditioned so much to be independent from men, while at the same time looking to the government to solve our problems. We need to get back to our communities. It is there that we truly shine. Women are the warriors of safe neighborhoods. It is our vigilance and love for our families and communities that make everyone feel safe and at home. We need much more of this in our times. We can do this!